Coffin with a scratched ceiling

 

Sometimes the means to a better future are sold as this great opportunity to be utilized. Opportunities for glomming onto chances that are futile. The means dealt to us are plenty volatile and vicious. It is no different from the circumstances in Wages of Fear, French director Clouzot’s 1953 masterpiece. Stranded expats in South America glom onto a blatantly fatal job to drive volatile explosive nitroglycerine through steep mountains and oil line wrecks. The remake several decades later tried to reframe for a different time but did it masterfully. William Friedkin’s thunderous remake in 1977 follows the same plot but now intertwined in modern paranoia. A burning oil field and trucks full of nitroglycerine, but on the brightside they will get paid so much for this endeavor. Don’t you see how great that is.

Sorcerer (1977)

We are sold this vision of a one way ticket by following this gold rush of large language models. The ravenous resource eating data centers and the time crunch to slave away to train models for the west. Its all been thrown as a grand scheme that will bring us unprecedented development.

Promises of an inevitable paradise

Thief (1981)

I have seen in my limited span on this earth enough spiel about ‘x’ will revolutionize ‘y’. Whether those promises really delivered is another story but the bandwagon is the same.

Trust me putting tablets and projectors will make schools into marvels of education. Just throw software and tech in farming it will blow everything away. Crypto will shatter controls from banking and put it back in people. Just wait for it, A.I will just bring about the future any minute now.

I don’t know whether those strides came about or the improvements were over exaggerated by the vested interests. Enough people have talked about how this A.I market functions and the gold rush of it all. I want to examine the broader gaps between supposed use case and the actual workings behind the scenes.

The generic and prevalent usage seems to be making verbose nonsense or image generation. And of course the uncanny video generation too. With workplaces there seems to be this catch all fascination about implementing A.I in the work flow. Whether its management or planning, hiring, and god forbid coding. All of it is fair game and all of it seems to be a frothing delusion as opposed to anything else. Overbearing hacks who occupy positions wherever seems to see this as a magic button that just does it all.

Now I don’t know how many of you use Foss (Free and open source software), but a lot that pops up on code hosting sites like github or codeberg etc. has been falling into the A.I vibe coding pit. Usually in certain foss or linux/privacy circles that is frowned upon and is a sign of low quality. Either way it is very pervasive in these circles and it has rancidly grown. Overall it is this litmus test for what’s a long lasting project made by actual people vs. gormless hacks who churn out prompts.

I don’t want to get muddled here, but rather examine the smoke screen. Almost a decade ago there was this hand wringing about how using software that turns irrigation set on was a gamechanger. Now that is a niche avenue where such broad changes are promised. Machinery and software driven solutions to rapidly declining agricultural practices, arising out of erratic climate isn’t new. The problem is throwing broad spectrum use cases into some sort use daily usage. All of it borders on making broad predictions that will shoot up the profits. Take remote sensing, maybe useful for making prediction models but definitely no way that useful to an individual farmer. All of these tech gambits focus heavily on implementing these through consumer level usage and organizational levels. Whether it is feasible is one thing, whether it will make things worse and cumbersome is another.

A case of blind fervor 

 

I see across scientific intelligentsia push this drive to establish that these language models or bots will do wonders. And most of it hinges on existing software which was used for predictive models. Now what’s really the crux here is that every time there’s a software function its obfuscated as a “A.I Powered” thing. “A.I Powered”, ah now that’s a buzzword if there was ever one.

Your T.V, A.I Powered. Your Phone, A.I Powered. Your Car, A.I Powered. Your Fridge, A.I Powered. Fertility care, A.I Powered. Funeral home, A.I Powered. Education, A.I Powered.

One might not ask what the hell is being powered here. Usually that just means your phone has stupid chatbot that has probably some tailored response for every pointless inquiry. Or it just means nothing. Just a moronic diluted bandwagon term for gluttonous marketing purposes.

In reality what these actually do power ranges from black bagging to concentration camps to bombing children’s schools across the world. Or you know the usual, by that I mean driving people to suicide and malicious advice, anti social drivel like A.I companions. The list goes on into more depravities. Like making obscene material using unconsenting pictures of women or children, that’s in vogue on places like elon musk’s acquired hellhole twitter or facebook. Hey look at the manmade wonders.

For starters you got people using grok the brainchild (brainworm moreso) of twitter’s new overlords, for generating obscene material involving children. To be clear these models produce material from scraping and also you know actual harmful material. So please make your own conclusions as to how grok was able produce that. The American reich utilizing grok to bomb iran. Driving someone to murder their mother. Sending people into hysteria and getting them killed in domestic bursts of violence. Blatantly egging on teenagers to attempt suicide. Facebook’s meta using websites that include obscene and violent material involving teens for building their models.

Now you can finger wag and call me an alarmist naysayer. I’m just pointing the actual glut of usage that predominantly exists. As opposed the colorful paradise that’s about to be ushered in. Its all self serving nonsense and none useful. At the expense of destroying the climate more. Its just more surveillance material for Palantirs of the world.

As mundane as it gets

I previously mentioned intelligentsia has been flocking around A.I as some catch all solution. I have noticed my fair share of grandstanding surrounding it. Now there’s an assortment of software and databases that are in use for molecular biology and adjacent fields. They range from mapping software to databases of markers or primers, protein structures. Now the way a lot of hysteria is going on by presenting these software or datasets as a product of some A.I software or powered by it.

Now this is where the vapid linkedin merchants step in. Those who clearly hawk some genome data stealing company, harp on about how glorious it is to use all these A.I Powered software. Mind you some of these coy around what they specify as the genius thing that A.I did. Something as mundane as preparing a PCR strategy or even worse, designing primers. Only a clueless oaf will be unable to prepare a regimen for a PCR run, especially if you work on them.

But enough about technicals. What I’m getting at is that, you have these so called “efficiency improving software”, which doesn’t do much beyond organizing info in an orderly fashion. Remember protocols. Troubleshoot. Now as they go on they just describe day to day operations in a lab.

There is genuine use for something like cancer imaging and prediction like CAD. But the way things are of course medical care and research is mostly gutted through austerity. Some german firms are even aborting covid vaccine research even though it is still an ongoing crisis.

Oil fields on fire

Wages of Fear (1953)

Wages of fear is in the backdrop of colonial subjects seeking justice for the oil company accident. Instead the oil tycoon decides its best to quell the burning oil field with nitroglycerine. But no one except desperate people want to transport this and die as a result. The oil field labor didn’t get paid anything as opposed the truckers who fatally transport explosives. It’s a vicious circle where only profits are made off of the suffering and decline.

So we have to face where the capital actually goes. Oh its just fed for nonsensical image generation or video generation. All trillions into the ever expanding maw of A.I markets that seem to go nowhere. All the while the western nexus keeps openly crying about models coming out in Asia like Qwen or Deepseek in terms of broader availability.

You see writing or artistry or film making don’t matter no more. Oh you can generate drivel out of the chatbots then you have genius writing prowess. You can generate mangled otherworldly mess of images and now you are an artist. You can blatantly put soulless interior and exterior shots in movies. No one cares. You can plagiarize however much you want. To your hearts content.

All heads of countries brazenly do so, what’s stopping you. Complete morons like Donald trump can do it, so can you. Keep playing with these toys, go on keep churning more images. That’s the promise of future right there. Plagiarize forever. Surveil forever. All the large tech giants keep burning money while laying off more and more personnel. The A.I rush seems plenty detrimental and volatile with no reign or regulation in sight.

Oh but this just horrible negative thinking you don’t get this do ya. No I get it. I’m just not a moron enough to buy this façade wholesale and indulge in the self serving exercises. I’m just saying be afraid, be very afraid.

The Fly (1986)

Be aware of what you are being sold and in turn how you are being commodified yourself. Down to every little thing you share online is at risk. Now more so. Be more interrogative and introspective. Use your faculties bestowed upon you since birth.

Not even god can save this movie

                     Western movies are shoved down the third world so much and through the last five years its impacts are a blight overall on Indian cinema. The yearly corporate marvel rollout formula has seeped everywhere. The same drony fights, dead background, dead actors and some numb conclusions. Same with TV. Once the model hit Indian tv productions via streaming its been awful. Same old cop drama with dim lighting and boring conclusion. Its all about the spectacle. Big banner brands which keep their brand name throughout a span of franchises. Its all about recognition of nostalgia whether its star wars or some marvel thing. Oh remember xyz character 20 films ago here's that character, are you nostalgic for em, do you remember, do you?!

         Now Indian blockbusters with big name actors have always been not great. But they still generate a lot of buzz. Its become a standard to pour truckloads money into movies and expect them to become some huge phenomenon. And they just won't. Adipurush is one of those. 

         In an era where along the past few years globally there's this yearning for "return to ancient tradition where men were strong". This isn't limited to past few years, cause largely through western media this was popular with intense fetishizing of romans or spartans (like 300 by zach snyder). But with more franchising coming in, this sort of thing moved to streaming kind of. But it still pops up like with movies like adipurush. The name might seem like its about a cave man. But no, its this weird iteration (if it can be called that even) of ramayanam where ram is just this man who cuts through hordes of demons mindlessly.

        Out of several actors prabhas seems committed to do just awful movies one after the other. His previous two films were also numb and forgetful. But third time's the charm I guess. This time he plays a cardboard cutout of rama (apparently) and also emotes like a cutout. 

        More influence from western bigwigs like marvel made the industry here follow suit. That lead to a thin veneer action movie with half baked ramayanam stitched in. It just follows the same beats as those movies. Hamfisted bad and good guy, hordes of demons, empty world and bad writing overall. Zack snyder in this blockbuster sphere definitely influenced the worst type of lighting and fight sequences through his torturous movies like Batman v superman, Man of steel, justice league and its more bloated cut. All of them have a very terrible method to ensure that themes of the movies are DARK. Which is this dull palette with dark clouds in the backdrop.

Get it, its dark

Cloudy means more dark

        Adipurush follows all that and more. It has hordes of some vague demons swarming at the protagonist for him to slaughter. And similar sequences of war where just hordes collide and explosions happen with no context adding to the convoluted plot.

We got vague demon hordes

We got hordes clashing

      

         The movie is a frantic sequence of scenes which make no sense as to why its structured that way. Most of the movie also looks very odd with large characters composited on a video-game cutscene. The problem isn't animation as a whole but its instances like this movie where there is over reliance on just CGI effects than anything little practical. There's not a single frame that doesn't come off as an eyesore. The movie is centered around Sundarakanda for a good amount but it completely abandons the SUNDAR part. It opens with a random cut to ravaana (apparently) getting his wish granted. Again the scene has no head or tail. It just cuts in and out with little build up. This is most of the movie. 

        All the audience are supposedly to be strung along with nostalgia of these stories and characters. Oh remember the vanavaasam, remember the golden deer, remember jataayu. The movie is just this botched version that the filmmaker wanted and it just wants to bank on the pre existing appeal. So most of lanka looks like a Doom II map.

This is how lanka looked by the way

Somehow lanka ended up looking like a hellish tech level from doom

        Ravaana is dressed up like gorn from star trek. And is a necromancer for some reason. Nothing in the movie is built up or no character is at least fleshed. They just do things. Most characters whether central or peripheral are just there and do nothing. Sita's there and that's it. She's there. Rama himself is just not even characterized neither explored. The movie adds nothing as to what rama's relation to his brother or hanuman is, cause hey this has been tread over so many times. Thus the filmmaker saw that as a reason to just not even try. All the director wanted is to appeal to the western corporate standard by caricaturing this character as a bogged down marvel hero who slays demons. They didn't even bother to add guards at ashokavanam. There's a very peculiar insert scene of ayodhya with dasaratha and his wife talking then abruptly its cut to rama accepting vanavaasam. As rama and sita walk away in this large empty palace we see a huge statue being chiseled by a single worker. The palace is massive with corridors looking like an airplane landing strip and somehow we are shown only two people, there's no king's council or whatever. Its just a large empty palace straight out of lovecraft's nameless city.

 

raavana according to adipurush

        Rama is just a guy who does things and espouses vague ideals. None of them are developed or dealt cause everyone knows who these people are. So just cheer and clap. Clap at the scenes you recognize. Clap clap clap. 

        No single event is properly given screentime neither the characters. Lanka is burned in a rushed 20 seconds. The bridge is built in 10 seconds. Kumbakarna is there for at least some seconds. The final fight is just under a minute and raavana dies. In short this is a terribly written, terribly acted and terribly edited movie. There's so many portrayals of this story and everyone of them is better than this. You are in dire straits when balakrishna looks better than you when doing a portrayal.

        The main push came months ago for this movie with its stringent use of the word string : Jaishriram. That has been the marketing gimmick. It didn't stop there they even fit it into a horrible uninspired song. That's been the entire marketing for this movie. Speaking of songs or bgm there's none and you won't notice any. Just one well known religious utterance that could be easily commodified. Which is funny cause all the chants watching this movie ring hollow anyway. Not even commodied religious sentiment can salvage this film. Can't wait for further movies where the marketing will focus on nama shivaya or govinda govinda or swamiye saranam ayyapa. Yay can't wait

 

        Oh if there's one thing that is endlessly run into the ground that's IP owned by rich studios.  Don't worry this is just the start, there's going to be a barrage of these movies with just mythology sticked to it or without it. Oh its coming. 

        Why even bother with this garbage? Chiranjeevi voiced hanuman and that movie has way better soundtrack too. Enough said.

 

Victim blaming, Men and Rape culture.

 I

There is widespread notion that women on a normal basis get sexually assaulted cause they are promiscuous/wear specific clothing that’s deemed as “undignified”. Victim blaming is not new to the country of India. It never was. Countless amounts of sexual harassment will always be blamed on the women. Countless amounts of marital rape cases are always blamed on the woman. Countless amounts of rape victims are told to their face that it happened cause they were “wearing some clothes” or “she was asking for it”. Needless amounts of times it is never ever questioned whether men or boys are here blame for not respecting the fundamental notion of consent. This notion is seen also in victims of child rape, where they are told that its possible that the child might be wearing “revealing clothing”. It never occurs to them that a child cannot consent.

In a roundabout fashion everyone blames victims while media rakes in money for constantly focusing on it cause that type of news is deemed provocative. Throughout film, tv or whatever media it is there is always a catering the male audience. The catering is done in way through male gaze and tons of antiquated tropes. These tropes normalize the patriarchal ideals by feeding the male audience a medium through male gaze. Male gaze in media is to present women in a way to the male audience as a object of desire. Along with that they are also portrayed often helpless, weak/needing attention. More often than not most women characters are presented as someone who is yearning for the attention of the male counterpart in the movie. The damsel in distress trope is very frequently used all sorts media ranging from movies to videogames. In movies you would find the frequent usage of the women protagonist being saved from getting raped and later on being grateful to the hero of the story for the “noble” action. Following that you will often notice that the women protagonist will completely fall in love with the main character cause of the one action he did. Even though the protagonist will be stalking her and harassing her, almost assaults her. But I guess it makes a difference in the internal logic of such movies which is: “Oh he saved her from a rapist even though he himself was one”.

Anyway what these media normalizes are the following:

1) Women are only an object of desire

2) Women are weak and crave men’s help

3) You are entitled of intimacy from random people even if they don’t know you and that they are always ready to be intimate.

4) Stalking/ following random women you encounter is normal. Pestering/harassing is a part of flirting.

5) Women only expect sexual innuendo and sexual advances constantly from you and nothing else.

Apart from general media there is also consumption of porn. Porn also normalizes fetishizing of women and normalizing rape as a sexualized thing to the young men who consume this media. Films also do that where they depict rape and its often voyeuristic and through a male gaze.

Beyond this every sort of social media platform has a lot young men cycling through their fantasies filtered through such abhorrent media. And through this whenever these men run across a women they always look at them as an sexual object. Several forums/chatrooms reinforce this cycle of extreme fetishizing of women. Commonly this fetishizing is done with the movies and porn in which is prominent in pushing such view. These men share such media onto these places and discuss their often gross to violent fantasies. More often than not this needle of fetishizing moves from actresses in film/porn to random women online or in real life.

II

This overarching culture of fetishizing women and portraying women for a male gaze has lasting consequences. Younger girls are sexualized in media a lot. Most of our media does that. There is always a clear cut disparity in actresses who are chosen for their role cause of their younger age while the same isn’t applied for the actor. Enough actresses are denied chances if they are of a certain age. They are also denied roles if they are married or have kids.

You can see this in ads. Remember the santoor ad. Here let me break it down: A old man is gawking at a women assuming the lady is very young. And he is shocked when the lady is revealed to have a kid. He is flabbergasted that a woman who looks young to him has a kid. The lady turns around says the secret is the soap. Once again this stuff reinforces unnatural beauty standards on women and normalizes this fethishization of younger woman.

One of the more prominent examples of this I can recall is the actress from balika vadhu who went on to become film actress. This person was cast alongside in films where the men are older than her. She is portrayed in these films and tv shows where her character is heavily sexualized.  

As I said lasting consequences of such culture where rape and harassing are normalized and blame is put upon the victims. That paved a way for countless women who are victims of rape and other forms of sexual assault to not come out. Cause in a roundabout way the police and justice system more often deny any justice. Family and surroundings make it a specific notion if they come out about these issues they will be regarded as less of a person and would be often be blamed.

More and more workplace harassment or harassment from teachers or other men is just made to be the fault of the victim. They instill this notion that you should just bear it and move on.

Even such notions can be observed in military. One military journo posited that women shouldn’t join the military cause, Get this: The military cannot guarantee an environment that isn’t filled with harassment. What they mean is that: Men in military cannot control their urge to harass women and in no circumstance having women in military can avoid that. This person also says that women should adhere to having babies and being at home rather joining the army.

Several court cases make these views more apparent. When the court denied the victim of tarun tejpal cause the victim wasn’t acting as the judges perceive victims should act or cause she wasn’t denying his advances while he was violating her. Also the judiciary system time and again will deem marital rape as something consensual cause apparently to them “Husbands can’t rape their wives cause once married women indebted to provide sexual gratification even if they don’t consent”. Beyond the common justification there’s also some instances more recently during the elections a rape victim was denied any justice cause overarching media said it was made up by political opponents. 

III

Regardless of these instances of rape there never is a questioning of the perpetrators violating consent. But rather there is always an effort to shift the blame. The singular common blame is levied using the age old “Oh your dressing was the cause”. Even if that never comes into play in any of these incidents. Is that why a defence officer was raped and murdered by multiple men? Is that why a lone women was targeted by bunch of men, then raped and torched? Is it why the mass rape  in Gujarat 2002 happen to muslim women?.

NO. The answer’s NO.

Its just that lot of these people have the inability to understand that men or boys have this entitlement and think they are entitled to women’s bodies cause they only see women as objects of desire. Its their inability to comprehend that any women have agency and that there are boundaries. They also use rape as a form of terror (as happened during 2002 pogrom).

Essentially in their minds, to these people “IF A PERSON IS COMPLETELY NUDE ITS 100% FINE TO UNDERMINE THEIR AGENCY AND CONSENT DOESN’T MATTER”.

 

Its very stupid and moronic to think like that. Apparently if I get robbed its not cause that a person robbed me decided so, but cause I had money in hand. Apparently if someone burns my home down its cause some arsonist decided so, but rather the fault is that I got a home.

 

So get this into your head: Rape happens cause a rapist decides to rob a person of their consent and doesn’t care about agency the victim has but take over control of their agency.

NOT CAUSE OF A PERSON’S CLOTHING.

 

 

INTRIGUING BUT POIGNANT REALIZATION

I was walking up a road while suddenly I came to a point of realization . LOOK AROUND YOU : EVERYTHING IS SPANNING ITSELF INTO A COLOSSAL  DECAY .

DECAY......

yeah , decay. Decay in what ??? ONE might think..
MY answer is : WHAT NOT.

Recently I was at a theater , watching a"telugu movie" . People around me were laughing and even slightly whistling . BUT  I really  couldn't understand what it was they were enjoying or something that i'm not getting . WAS something wrong with me ? well definitely it should be . Because a entire hall was enjoying it but I couldn't utter slight laugh or glimpse at the screen . SO SOMETHIING WAS WRONG WITH ME .

ON A ENTIRELY DIFFERENT POINT WHAT IF ??? IF AND ONLY IF .... SOMETHING WAS NOT WRONG WITH ME ...

So either way if I was normal and yeah the people around me were too infact . Then what in gods name do they get to understand something filthy and full of garbage while I don't .

Let me remind something things of similar with which I assumed something was wrong but it was entirely different case of scenarios .

People have a penchant for being dumb . OR THEY ARE BAD AT ACCEPTANCE . OR THEY ARE GOOD ...VERY GOOD AT DENIAL ...
WELL....

What I have to do with anything  like that ? Why should I give a damn ? WHY should write big freaking paragraph ranting about that ?
WELL I'M NOT GREAT AT DENIAL NOR ACCEPTANCE .
I HAVE BEEN WRITING OR SAYING SUCH STUFF EVER SINCE A LONG TIME I STARTED NOTICING THE WORLD AROUND ME . I KNOW PEOPLE WHO DO . I HAVE FRIENDS WHO DO . MANY A PERSON I KNOW DOES RAISE A POLITE DISSENT . MY FATHER DOES RAISE HIS VOICE TIME TO TIME WHEN HE FEELS THE SYSTEM IS TOO LOST .

WELL THEN WHAT IS THE NEED TO WRITE ABOUT SUCH STUFF . AND IN CAPS . AM I A RANTING ASSHOLE . DON'T I HAVE WORK TO DO .

I DID SEE ENOUGH TO SPEAK MY MIND .

There are bad institutions and half of them not educational . And these weird institutions have been developed for over a long period of time .
These are trivial for anyone to know . For example these institutions say that you study this or you live your life like this or because life is constructed this way or everybody does this so should you .
It says we should not raise your voice you will be judged . We should somehow love these senseless things . There is no reason why . We just should . That is the way it is .We should say that we are free . And are we really free in sense or choice .

THESE so called institutions decide what you should watch ,eat , sleep ,piss and shit . They even say the magical words that life is nothing building career or earning money or even worse . These institutions are invisible but we are bound to that . THEY IMPLY MANY THINGS WHICH MANY  DO APPLY TO THEIR  LIFE . They say that this is what music is or even say this is what a film is or this is what life should be like . But actually in the basic sense what everyone is saying is very good is actually just full of shit .

IN THE ETERNAL WORDS FROM ATLAS SHRUGGED: 

YOUR MYSTICS PREACH BODY WITHOUT A SOUL IS A CORPSE AND SOUL WITHOUT A BODY IS A GHOST .

More elaborately we are being forced to adapt to some bad, bad attitudes . WE are being forced digest such idiotic stuff down our gullet . 

What is the point anyway . When someone tells you its not hygenic or even  good to defecate openly no we won't care . We just  keep on defecating  everywhere . 

We have a bad habit of barging into other people's lives and just decide things for them blatantly . We teach everyone how to live and keep on implying the correct path of career is not what they have chosen . 

WE ARE A SOCIALLY ACTIVE SOCIETY . OH YEAH EVERY BIT OF SARCASM INCLUDED . WE ARE JUST SOCIAL IN SOCIAL NETWORKS . WE SOMEHOW ARE INCULCATING THIS TO OUR KIDS TOO . EVERY ONE IS BEING FORCED WITH A URGENCY OF HAVING SOCIAL LIFE ON SOCIAL NETWORKS . FRIENDS DON'T MEET UP ANYMORE NOR FAMILIES . SCREW IT , WE HAVE FACEBOOK. KIDS ARE NOT KIDS ANYMORE . STUDENTS ARE NOT STUDENTS ANYMORE .  WE JUST LOVE USING PHONES ITS SOME SORT OF A WEIRD STATUS EVERYONE IS APPLYING THEMSELVES TO . THIS MINDLESS EXERCISE IS MANDATORY  FOR EVERYONE . WE DON'T EVEN READ OR WATCH NEWS ANYMORE.

SCREW IT WE HAVE INTERNET WE HAVE FACEBOOK TWITTER ALL KINDS OF BULLSHIT . WE  APPLY TO THIS MINDLESS LOGIC . HOW MANY KIDS ARE PLAYING OUTSIDE ? NO THEY SHOULD NOT PARENTS SAY . THEY GIVE THEM MOBILES TO PLAY . AND IN TURN THESE PARENTS WILL CHILDISHLY COMPLAIN THAT THEIR KIDS DON'T LEAVE THEIR PHONES AT HOME FOR A MINUTE . THEY ARE SOMEHOW PROUD OF IT .WE ARE SHORT OF WILL POWER AND SHORT OF BALLS TO ACCPET SOME THINGS ARE OUR FAULTS . WE ACTIVELY ARE CAPABLE TO BLAME AND COMPLAIN ABOUT THINGS AND BLAME IT ON SOMEONE ELSE . THAT IS WHAT WE ARE HEADING TOWARDS . BLAME ALL YOU WANT . BLAME WHOEVER YOU WANT . BUT CONSEQUENCES WILL COME FINDING YOU . SHIVA WILL OPEN THIRD EYE . RUDRAM WON'T BE ENOUGH THIS TIME TO SOOTHE HIM .

WE ARE COMITTING UNSPEAKABLE SINS . WE ARE DESTROYING MANY LIVES OF KIDS BY FILLING THEIR MINDS WITH ALL SORT OF SENSELESS STUFF . WE LIVE TO PURSUE SOULLESS CAREERS . STUDY IN EDUCATION LESS COLLEGES  .

BACK IN TIME I ONCE READ A ANSWER TO QUESTION , THE QUESTION WAS ABOUT HOW TO MAKE MY LIFE MISERABLE OF MISERABLE . THE ANSWER WAS : study and pursue education for money , marry for sex and then in the end once your life is hell you can just blame it everyone else that its their fault not yours to make it more miserable than miserable .

So why am I talking about all this . Why am I ranting on about something this long ? what is the endgame ?
It is painful to notice that parents are incapable of parenting by themselves but turn towards some one else to tell them how children should be raised . They make their kids go though hell and say  that is way to do it . They assume if kid is it getting 99 out 100 then there is something seriously wrong that he is missing that one mark . Then they will consult a coaching centre or someone else to teach their no no not teach but to make them get that one mark .
THERE are teens who are committing suicides that they did not nail some exam or some mark . They don't see the important thing in life is not that . Nobody has a outlook these days . We just indulge ourselves into false beliefs and prove ourselves something . We raise our children and let them cultivate double standards . There is no purpose in education any more. Students and yeah not just them but everyone loves cheating . YEAH CHEATING . THAT IS WHAT WE ARE PLANTING IN KIDS' MINDS . NOT SO RECENTLY SOME KID ASKED ME THAT WHEN I WAS PLAYING A GAME IN MY PC . I WAS LOSING THAT LEVEL SO MANY TIMES BUT I WAS CONSTANTLY  TRYING TO BEAT THAT LEVEL FOR SO LONG . THE KID CHEEKILY SAYS 'WHY DON'T YOU TYPE THE CHEAT AND WIN THAT LEVEL ' . I HOARSELY RESPONDED THAT THEN THERE IS NO FUN IN THE GAME .
WELL NOW LET ME TELL YOU THAT THIS IS NOT THE REASON THAT I SPOKE ABOUT  CHEATING . STUDENTS DON'T GET THE LOGIC OF EDUCATION IS TO LEARN A THING OR TWO . BUT FROM THEIR PERSPECTIVE IT IS FOR A EXAM OR IT IS FOR GETTING MARKS OR JOBS .THEY BELIEVE THAT VERY MUCH . SO MOSTLY THAT IS BEGINNING OF CHEATING . THE NEXT PHASE COMES WHEN THEY THINK EVEN THIS PREPARATION IS WASTE OF TIME AND THEY THINK EDUCATION IS NOT UNDERSTANDING BUT MEMORIZING THINGS BY HEART TO GET MARKS . THEN THIS PERSPECTIVE GOES FURTHER THAT THIS IS ONLY REQUIRED FOR EXAM SO WE WILL MEMORIZE IT DAY BEFORE EXAM . TO TOP IT ALL TEACHERS DON'T EVEN TEACH TEXTBOOKS BUT MEMORIZING INSTEAD AND THEY WILL TAKE EXTRA CLASSES IN END BEFORE EXAMS TO COMPLETE SYLLABUS  .

SO THE POINT IS DIABOLICAL . THE POINT OF EXAM IS TO TEST YOUR KNOWLEDGE YOU GATHERED BY UNDERSTANDING THE GIST OF SUBJECT AND GRADE YOUR APPLICATION LEVEL ACCORDINGLY . BUT INSTEAD WE CHEAT BY JUST MEMORIZING BY HEART AND JUST VOMITING IT ON EXAM TIME SO THAT WE GET MARKS .


WHERE AM I GOING WITH ALL THIS . FOR STARTERS I DID COMPLETE THAT LEVEL IN THAT GAME TWO MONTHS LATER . THE POINT IS I DIDN'T GIVE UP TRYING UNTIL I UNDID MY MISTAKE .
There are many people I saw whom had dreams they had but never pursued them or abandoned them suddenly . They say they dreamt about doing that or this but in time they will throw it all away and say they need to earn money or pursue career or whatever .
WE don't dare to follow our dreams . We are too afraid of judgement sometimes.
THE POINT . THE ULTIMATE POINT I NEED TO CONVEY HERE IS THAT : WELL ,,,GIMME DRUMROLL ,, COS' WHAT EVERYONE IS PLAGUED WITH IS :


THE ILLUSION OF SATISFACTION

WE keep ourselves  in a illusion by keeping goals that we think will satisfy us . But we will never be . These illusions are simple like I will study hard to get marks and that will do it ,my life will go to great heights . When we get it we are not satisfied then we start on the next . Say, I will try hard to get that job . When we get the job we say I need that promotion then my life is great . It just goes on .



That is what it is . Decay . Decaying choice . Decaying dreams . Decaying .
There is no point in explaining why anyone will be like this . As I said many things imply everybody these days .
Seriously we need to consider somethings about where these things are leading us .
Many need to reconsider and retrospect in life that there are many things at large in life which are more important . And if you lose touch with them those things will go out of your hand and you will never get hold of them  . Do not let go of hope .

FROM STEPHEN KING'S STAND : There is no hope but there is mount hope .

I was walking up a road while suddenly I came to a point of realization .

Intriguing systems

The difference between my 10th and intermediate is as big as between star and a black hole .  Until tenth I thought beyond it I will get to learn more intriguing things . Not sooner I found out one never gets to learn anything in intermediate . Once I faced people going to intermediate or anything else I found that one person's aspiration is the one that some other guy had . So simply put the axiom is:

" society's aspirations are people's aspirations " . People dream something every one calls a dream . 

 

Individuals have no idea about their paths life ( no pun intended) . Adding more to this abnormal situation corporate college's fueling  this cremation of individual  aspirations . Parents crave for corporate colleges . Parents add a vile sentence to it saying : our kids follow their dreams . Seriously ! What dream ? Mega wads of money?. Any way I don't know if they really mean that . Parents have their own terms for joining kid in corporate colleges because studeeesss( according to parental slang you should spell the ending like say hisss) are good there or he does write tons of objective exams or he writes many model exams for his board or  he prepares  every day . Seriously ! How does writing exams or drooling 24/7 in classroom determine his aptitude or behavior or his later excellence in life.

As I said in my previous posts my interest in genetics always made me think that advancing further I will see more things and at a point I get to know max things about it . When I was in tenth I functioned like that hyper eagerness of finding new things and all. I actively played and interacted . It was cool learning without hesitation . There were no percentages for what to study and there never were . Like that without third party references I got a very good percentage . 

Wait ! This is where candy floss burns into ashes . Then suddenly everyhing burns because of one damned thing : percentages are introduced ( citation from rush(movie)) . 

That is when I was introduced to hell on earth. What momentum that must be picked up and project into the sky wasn't nurtured ? It decelerated directly toward the ground . Restlessness prevailed . More restlessness prevailed . Darkness and darkness only were left . There was no delight in lessons nor 

Delight of being there . It was like falling into a black hole . 

Why such insecurity prevails in education ? Why should one spend two years of life disease stricken and restless without relishing the joy of education? Who is responsible for destruction of lakhs of students joining annually in those colleges but make nothing out of it ?

Intriguing relation

Inspiration comes in many ways . For example in fountainhead there is a scene in first chapter of fourth part of the book . In that scene a boy who wants to write music is struggling inside and he wants to find music as music itself . He asks men  to just show their   acheivement  and the knowledge will give him courage for his work . This is that following line : "“Let me see that in one single act of man on earth. Let me see it made real. Let me see the answer to the promise of that music. Not servants nor those served; not altars and immolations; but the final, the fulfilled, innocent of pain. Don't help me or serve me, but let me see it once, because I need it. Don't work for my happiness, my brothers--show me yours--show me that it is possible--show me your achievement--and the knowledge will give me courage for mine.” When he sees monadnock valley of Howard Roark he asks him that who built it , when Roark says it was Roark himself who built the resort . Then the boy says : THANK YOU ,and leaves with his bicycle . Well the boy got his inspiration from Howard Roark and his acheivement .

Well to me in every instance of my life I should say THANK YOU to MY GRANDMOTHER because she is the sole strongest inspiration in my life . Her life and herself solely greatest inspiration and its single act of inspiration on earth and the  knowledge always gave me courage for me . We share a extraordinary bond . I learnt a great many things from her . As I already said before I say that my school life is the coolest school life . There is another reason because it will always  coolest and was cool for me and it is because of my Grandmother . She is the greatest teacher I've had ever seen . Most people live to know about one subject boast like they had analyzed everything in the world .Well I always thought that one should always preserve the spoon of oil while enjoying everything . Please note this I never realized this through "The alchemist" and I realized that long before I even read the book but in different context .My grandmother taught biology , physics , chemistry , English ,and great lot many things . She also taught something one can rarely learn from anyone and that is : LIFE. I was always fascinated by her proficiency in many different fields . So I at that inculcated the fact to myself that even if one chooses a field which doesn't connect with one's he knew before , that doesn't mean one should dump and forget other things he knew . He should also be updated with other things likely with his own interest.That is why still today I always explore and learn physics and mathematics and many other things . She is a great narrator of stories and lesons . Her lessons always captivated me and provided me the interest to learn more and read more books . From Sherlock Holmes to Atlas shrugged it is because of her I got to develop book reading habit . My best friend ever is my grandmother and our bond is that deep that this photo defines it. I always share whatever I read and when I was in between 7th or 8 th I completed Mahabharata of rajagopalachari  then I wrote that on the book . 

I used to travel with her many times and those were greatest times for me . I still remember as a kid I used to preach her while she was sleeping by decorating her with flowers . In 16 years of life every morning I know she never missed her routine . She is always organized . She always shown me how to stand tough with your values even in toughest times . She nurtured me into the person who I am now . She made me take correct roads in life . No matter how many books I read the greatest inspiration I will ever draw will be from my Grand mother . 

Well mamaaji ,Thank you for being such great inspiration.  Eternal thank you 's  for our Intriguing relation .